I'm vaguely touched!

Wow, I really DO belong on FF.net. I've been blessed by my first flame from Flame Rising -- he's infamous for prodding people like this.

Let’s play a game, shall we? Yes? Fantastic.

This game is called “Things That Can Write Better Than You”. The rules are simple. Please correctly select which choice can write better than you:

A. My left testicle
B. A toilet-full of chunky diarrhea
C. An inbred midget clown who swims in choice B
D. All of the above

If you chose the correct answer, D, then you have won the following prize:

A spot in my coveted C2 “Stories A Turd Out of My ** Could Write Better” (which, strangely enough was not one of the choices). Don’t despair! Even if you didn’t choose correctly, I will be kind enough to give you that prize anyway. Who said I don’t have a heart?

Congratulations! Please continue to avoid the dictionary as if it were an oozing, puss-filled sore on an old hooker’s a.s.s. And good grammar? Well, run away from it like it’s a festering syphilitic itch you just can’t scratch in public. Or in words you can understand: your fic sucks donkey balls, and that’s what you wanted me to think, right? Because otherwise, I’d have to believe this was an actual attempt at writing and laugh the crap right out of myself.

Best regards,
F/R

Lulz. I wonder if he actually thinks that real writers will buy this bullshit. I suppose he was hoping that I'm one of those fangirls that'll go "WAAAAAAAAAAAH SOMEBODY'S PICKING ON MEEEEE ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF NAO."

Anyway, RL post to follow. I had to post this first because it amused me.

I WILL BE BOILING CHILDREN THIS SEMESTER.

Wokey, so like, the English Dept down in ADMU called me yesterday afternoon, sometime before I was supposed to go to Greenbelt and meet up with yukitsu and kye_kestrel for dinnar -- they were calling me in for an interview at *sob* 9:30 the next morning. I agreed, thinking it wouldn't be anything.

Chillaxed with the partners-in-perversion, headed home, slept REAL early (like, 11:00 PM early, because for this week, that IS early to me). Had a dream that the school year had started and I was being puttered around as a professor in the department. Woke up wondering if it was God's way of telling me My dear daughter, cease and desist: that is the only teaching experience you will ever know. SHUT UP I'M PARANOID OKEY. Did the morning rituals, had breakfast and dragged myself out to that interview. Turned up 30 minutes early.

Doctor Orendain (she's the chair) was surprised to see me for a second interview, especially after I reminded her that we had actually talked after my demo teaching thing earlier this month. We made small talk on departmental things, then had a sorta interview when more members of the panel arrived. Then, like, in the middle of talking, she just goes, "Oh, you know, can we make a decision now? *pause* All right, we'll take you."

...Yep. That is right, folks. As of this moment, I am officially a lecturer at the Ateneo de Manila University under the English Dept.

Srsly.

It didn't hit me until I was on the car, heading over to the office. o_o

I am going to be soooo busy between here and the first day of classes... I have forms to fill out so that the government can milk money out of me, clothes to buy (I seriously doubt that they'll let me teach in a t-shirt and jeans on my first year) and a lesson plan to study and build.

I will be changing my layout soon to match the whole OH MAH GEE I'LL BE A GRAD STUDENT AND A PROF! thing.

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IS NO ONE WILLING TO INDULGE ME? T___T

On other news, I've been flamed by an idiot! Point and LOL, bebeh~