mikhail x hikaru fun. :3 [orchestra, final?]

[izkariote]

X-posted to the usual places.

This is to celebrate the opening of mikhail_kaledin (under ezraelandvari's care) and Hikaru's blog for be_l_i_e_ve at icarusmicarus. :3

FOR PREVIOUS CITRUS AVENUE INSTALLMENTS INVOLVING MxH GOODNESS...
Lullabies to Paralyze (first)
Nightswimming

NOTE: This new piece, titled Orchestra, is meant to take place in between Lullabies and Nightswimming. Lullabies took place around 4 years before Orchestra, when Hikaru and Mikhail were still in college. Nightswimming follows maybe a year or two afterward. I won't really explain all the other squishiness that happened before, after and during all of this... let's save that for the main story.

My next post was supposed to be for Aidan and Rethe, but as some of you may know my Muse doesn't seem to like them all that much these days. .-.



Orchestra.

You can roll me up in your hand.

Theirs was a relationship defined by distance. From the first time they had met with Mikhail Kaledin standing in the doorway of Room 302 at #2041, Citrus Avenue watching his new room mate assimilate sorrow into digital dreams from the doorway, it had always been about waiting on signs, regardless of proximity. He felt that words had the tendency to fail them, even if his lover had a particular affection for them. They rarely spoke to each other because of this. The brush of fingers to skin and second glances and shared breath were often enough.

It was difficult to give an exact measure to distance. Sometimes, ‘distance’ was the space between their two bodies on their bed, one that he could reach an arm across to brush the hair away from that sleeping face. Other times, ‘distance’ was standing on the sidewalk, watching with the rest of the crowd as the black cars of the Shinta family pulled up to a building in a dazzling flash of camera lights and smiles. Still other times it was watching his plane take off from the departure area, or sitting across of him at the long table as he waxed strategy with their associates at the Tower, or coming down from their room in time to see the ends of his trench coat slip from sight around the corner.

Distance made them what they were. Distance was what put spaces between his heart and his lover’s because the boy had never quite learned how to devote himself to another without losing everything to it. Mikhail understood this. He chose to live for the moments when there would be no distance, when he could fill those spaces and try, once again, to smooth over the cracks in the only glass heart he had ever chosen to hold near his own.

It had been four years since the beginning of ‘them’ and there were only too many little breaks to fix. He uncovered new ones with startling speed every time.


***

He woke to the sound of thunder. The only lights in the room lay beyond the picture windows, drawn from a cityscape hazed by curtains of rain. Mikhail reached out to where the alarm clock read 3 AM on the night table, searching then finding the cigarettes and the lighter. The space beside him was empty, and the sheets were cold. He lit up and rose from the bed, padding over to the chair that he had dumped most of his clothes on and picking up the rest of the articles from the floor on the way. The room still smelled faintly of his lover, but he was the only one there. He thought of distance and spaces again as he left it, trading the cold memory of skin for the warmth of coffee in the kitchen. He poured out the rest of the coffee into another mug and only went to the office after the caffeine had oiled the little gears in his head enough to make him capable of a decent conversation.

“Resting doesn’t mean waiting until I’m asleep to get up and do paperwork.”

“I did rest.”

“For how long?”

“Long enough.”

Hikaru Shinta was clicking away at his computer and Mikhail knew he wasn’t working on a poem. There were stacks of paper, a manila folder labeled ‘CONFIDENTIAL,’ a map of Arcis and a .500 Smith & Wesson on the table. The dart board they had bought last Christmas had a much-ruined photograph of one of the primary business rivals of the Shinta pinned to it. Hikaru turned away from the computer screen to highlight something on a document beside him as Mikhail watched. He wasn’t looking at him. This was a test that Mikhail was quite familiar with. If his patience held up for long enough, he would win.

“Brought you coffee. Have you eaten?”

“No need. Breakfast date with Natsuka-san from the Toujou side.”

“That’s in six hours.”

“I know.”

If he had been Satsuki he would’ve marched into the kitchen, whipped something up and plopped it in front of Hikaru right then and there but he was not Satsuki. Mikhail set the mug down, went around the desk and reached out, taking his lover’s face in his hands and forcing the other to look up at him. Violet eyes focused onto his own, slightly bewildered. He took advantage of the surprise and pried the pen away from almost nerveless fingers as he ran a hand through that hair, noting it soft and slightly wet from a shower. His touch kept Hikaru solid and tangible and there, he felt.

“I have to finish this. These plans are more for Natsuka than they are for me.”

The smile was kind but not forgiving. Mikhail ignored it for the other details, for the lines of weariness showing through pale skin, for the exhaustion that ran too deep in those eyes for Hikaru to hide it from him and the dark smudges beneath, for wrists and a frame that used to be slender but were now just too thin from stress, no sleep and very little eating. The more he saw the more he wanted to close his eyes but his resolve wouldn’t allow him to. The next chance of them having this sort of distance between them was next to nothing.

“Doing this is going to kill you.”

“I have my reasons—”

“I know you do. I know you need to prove yourself a better leader than your father. I know you have a corporation to run, allies to meet and enemies to destroy. I know that you’re dead on your feet and you’ll never admit it, and I also know better than you do that none of it will matter if you don’t listen to me right now and slow down.”

Hikaru was turning from him. He knew he had hurt the younger man somehow by giving him nothing but the truth but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Mikhail kissed his lover’s forehead and turned away.

“I’m going to do the rounds with you today.”

“Why?”

“I’ll need to get better acquainted with the corporation if I’m going to take over some parts of it for you, aren’t I?”

He was out the door before he could hear any protests.


***

The remains of the day galloped along at somewhere just below the speed of light. Hikaru walked where the winds of the Corporation took him and Mikhail followed, revealing nothing of the shock he felt at realizing just how little he really knew and discovering how much his lover had kept to himself. Mikhail’s closeness left Hikaru aching for the other’s touch and revelations left Mikhail resisting the urge to find and strangle the people who had first figured it to be a smart idea to stand back and let Hikaru do everything.

They hardly spoke to each other, even in the lulls between one obligation and the next. Mikhail was the low voice in his ear and the guiding hand at the middle of his back and Hikaru wanted to thank him somehow, but exhaustion was a buzz in his head that he had to keep ignoring, even if it meant blocking out everything else but the job, the job, the job, sometimes the household and then the corporation.

Evening found them sneaking out of a wedding banquet held for the daughter of an ally from the Beishe, the ruling syndicate among the Chinese mafia in Arcis. They were up against the elevator wall and kissing the moment they had slipped out, but sometime before they reached the private room they were given in the hotel Hikaru had buried his face into Mikhail’s shoulder and wrapped his arms a little tighter around the other’s neck. Mikhail let his fingers run through the younger man’s hair and listened to the other breathe.

“I’m just a little dizzy.” The smile was swift, dazzlingly brilliant and evidence enough of the constant strain Hikaru had submitted himself to. He was letting go already. Mikhail knew this in the fact that his lover had allowed him to tag along the whole day. He dipped down to kiss the younger man and drew the other closer, waiting for them to reach the right floor and trying not to think about how Hikaru felt like a ragged bag of flesh and bone in his arms. They stumbled out of the elevator and into their suite as soon as they landed.

“How long did they book this for you?”

“Don’t know. One night? Maybe two? Feilong wanted me to stay behind after the festivities ended. Negotiations with the Beishe.”

Mikhail left Hikaru to crawl unto the bed as he lit up a cigarette, examining the room and what it had to offer them. Idly, he wondered if their hosts within the Triad had been acquainted enough with Hikaru’s modus operandi to know that he would need a room for two or whether it was all a universal coincidence. He heard a chuckle behind him, and walked over to where Hikaru was smiling at him from the bed.

“Feilong knows. Most of the ones I intend to ally with do.”

Mikhail chose not to comment as he started undoing the buttons on Hikaru’s shirt. The young man reached out in turn and undid the other’s tie. They started kissing again somewhere down the line, when Hikaru’s shirt was off and the first few buttons of Mikhail’s pants were undone. The younger man fought to stay quiet and in control, even as the need roughened his breath and his body responded only too well to Mikhail’s attention. And then he lost the fight when Mikhail reached down and caressed the full length of him as those lips met his neck.

The sound of his own name in his ear was music for Mikhail. When his lover shivered at his touch, he knew there would be no more distance between them that night, and something in him was content.


***

“I still remember when I used to do E and Crystal and all that other shit. You were the one who got me off it.”

It was 9 PM and Hikaru was supposed to be asleep but he wasn’t. Instead he was draped over Mikhail’s lap on the bed and the blanket was tucked around them both, talking to the older man as the latter smoked and stroked his hair and noted all the tiny bits of physical damage on his lover that he’d have to spend the next month or so healing over.

“You were also the one who told me to stop smoking weed, but I never did much of that in the first place.”

“You were too good for a life of writing and wasting away, even though you’re very good at doing both. Come to think of it, you still are good at it.”

“And you’re just as good at making me stop. You always have been.”

“I wish I didn’t have to be.”

Hikaru only rolled onto his back and smiled at him. The hollowness was still in those cheeks and the dark smudges were still beneath those eyes. A little more time and patience, and Mikhail knew he could get rid of them. He bent low to kiss Hikaru before the latter could ask him what was wrong.

“I’ll do the rounds like this for a few days more with you, but I’m going to take over some parts of the corporation once I’ve gotten the hang of it. Don’t give me that look,” Mikhail added softly, as he reached down to stroke his lover’s cheek with his thumb. “I already said this was going to kill you, and I know I’m right. The only way to stop that from happening is to lighten the load on your back. Besides, balancing power between two syndicate heads makes it easier to keep things in check for us and may force our rivals to stay on their toes when they’re dealing with the corporation.”

“I don’t want you anywhere near the line of fire.”

“Do you think I like waking up each day knowing that you’re in it?”

“My job keeps in me in that position.”

“Then let it be my job too. We can keep the arrangement temporary, if it bothers you that much,” Mikhail offered, after a near uncomfortable pause. “Indulge me at least until everything has stabilized and you don’t have to force yourself to survive on an average of three hours of sleep when you gun things for the corporation alone.”

From Hikaru’s sudden silence Mikhail knew that his lover was weighing the words and studying the options. Giving in was probably the last thing that the younger man wanted to do, but with the way things had passed between them of late there was no denying what had been said. He needed to step back. He needed time to heal. He needed to give time to Mikhail to help him do it.

“…All right.”

Mikhail smiled.

“Good. Now do us both a favor and go to sleep.”

“Asshole.”

“Naturally.”


***

Two weeks down the line and Mikhail found himself standing on the patio just outside the room where the Shinta family enjoyed a private dinner with their close-knit circle of allies and associates. He had stepped out to smoke and now Satsuki was moving to join him. He barely got a word of greeting out before she took his hands in her own and smiled in a smile nearly as brilliant for him as Hikaru’s was.

“I don’t know what you did, and I won’t ask. But thank you.”

And then she turned about and walked back into the warmth of the house. Mikhail finished off his cigarette and stared at the stars for a while before doing the same. The quickest of smiles and a gleaming glance was the only acknowledgment he received from Hikaru when he returned to the young man’s side, but they were exactly what he needed.